Guns and kids: safe storage, and the question to ask before playdates

If you keep a gun at home, the single most protective step is to store it unloaded and locked, with the ammunition locked up separately. And before your child goes to a friend's house, it's fair and normal to ask whether there are guns in the home and how they're stored. These two habits target the most common ways children and teens are hurt by firearms: unintentional shootings and suicide.

How big is the risk?

Bigger than most parents realize. The American Academy of Pediatrics' 2022 policy statement reports that firearm injuries became the leading cause of death for U.S. children and adolescents, overtaking motor vehicle crashes. That includes homicides, suicides and unintentional shootings. The AAP's position is that the safest home for a child is one without firearms, and that for families who do own guns, safe storage is essential.

Why does storage matter so much?

Because curiosity and impulsivity are part of being young. A landmark 2005 study in JAMA, led by David Grossman, compared households where a young person had been shot, either by suicide or by accident, with similar gun-owning households where that hadn't happened. Each storage practice was linked with lower risk: keeping the gun locked, keeping it unloaded, and locking up the ammunition. Households using all of them had the lowest risk.

Teen suicide attempts are often impulsive, with a short window between decision and action. A locked, unloaded gun puts time and steps in that window, and firearms are far more lethal than most other methods.

Can't I just teach my kids not to touch guns?

Teach them, yes. Rely on it, no. In a 2001 study, researchers left pairs and small groups of 8- to 12-year-old boys in a room with a real but disabled handgun hidden in a drawer. Most groups found it, and in most of those, at least one boy handled it, even though nearly all had received some gun-safety instruction before. Young children can't reliably tell real guns from toys, and teens may be overconfident.

The message for kids is simple: if you see a gun, don't touch it, leave the area, and tell an adult right away. The protection for kids is storage.

How do I ask other parents about guns?

Make it routine, the way you'd ask about allergies or pets. You might say: "Before Maya comes over, I ask everyone this. Is there a gun in your home, and if so, is it locked up?" Most parents understand, and many gun owners appreciate the question. If the answer worries you, invite the kids to your house instead.

What if my teen is struggling?

If your teen is depressed, has talked about suicide, or is going through a crisis, the AAP recommends removing firearms from the home, at least temporarily. Some families store them with a relative, a gun shop or a range. Also lock up medications. And reach out for help: in the U.S., call or text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline any time. Our guide to teen mental health warning signs has more.

Frequently asked questions

What kind of lock should I use?

Options include lockboxes, gun safes and cable or trigger locks. A lockbox or safe that also holds the ammunition separately offers more protection. Keep keys and codes away from kids.

My child plays with toy guns. Is that a problem?

Pretend play with toys is common. Use it as a chance to explain the difference between toys and real guns and what to do if they ever see a real one.

Is it rude to ask about guns before a playdate?

Many parents feel awkward the first time, but it's a safety question like asking about a pool. Keep it simple and non-judgmental.