Parenting glossary

Plain-language definitions of the terms we use across the library, with a link to the lesson that explains each one in practice.

988

The U.S. Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. Call or text 988, or chat at 988lifeline.org, any time. Read more

Attachment

The emotional bond a child forms with the people who care for them. Secure attachment grows when a caregiver is reliably available and responsive. Read more

Authoritative parenting

Diana Baumrind's term for parenting that is warm and responsive while also setting clear, firm expectations. Read more

Behavioral inhibition

Jerome Kagan's term for a temperament that tends to be cautious and wary with new people and situations. Read more

Body safety

Teaching children correct names for body parts, that their body belongs to them, and that no adult should ask them to keep secrets about touching. Read more

Co-regulation

When a calm adult helps a child settle their body and feelings, before the child can do it alone. Read more

Developmental milestones

Skills most children reach by a certain age, such as walking or first words. The CDC lists milestones most children (75% or more) reach by each age. Read more

Division of responsibility

Ellyn Satter's feeding model: the parent decides what, when and where food is offered; the child decides whether and how much to eat. Read more

Early intervention

Publicly funded services for babies and toddlers with developmental delays, available in every U.S. state under IDEA Part C. Read more

Emotion coaching

John Gottman's approach of noticing a child's feeling, naming it, validating it, and then helping solve the problem. Read more

Family media plan

A written agreement about when, where and how the family uses screens. The American Academy of Pediatrics offers a free template. Read more

Graduated driver licensing (GDL)

A staged licensing system that gives new teen drivers more privileges as they gain experience, such as limits on night driving and passengers. Read more

Growth mindset

Carol Dweck's idea that children who see ability as something that grows with effort handle setbacks better. Read more

Logical consequence

A consequence a parent sets that is related, respectful and reasonable, such as losing bike time after riding without a helmet. Read more

Natural consequence

What happens on its own because of a choice, such as feeling cold after refusing a coat. Read more

Parental burnout

Exhaustion from the parenting role, emotional distance from one's children and a sense of no longer being the parent you were. Read more

Parental monitoring

Knowing where your child is and who they're with. Research suggests most of this knowledge comes from kids willingly telling, not from surveillance. Read more

Perfectionism

Setting impossibly high standards and judging yourself harshly for missing them. Studies suggest it has risen among young people. Read more

Process praise

Praising effort, strategy and progress rather than fixed traits like being smart. Read more

Puberty

The years when a child's body matures sexually. It often begins between 8 and 13 in girls and 9 and 14 in boys. Read more

Repair

Reconnecting after a conflict or a parenting mistake: owning your part and restoring closeness while keeping the limit. Read more

Resilience

Doing well despite adversity. Research from Harvard's Center on the Developing Child points to at least one stable, supportive adult relationship as the most common factor. Read more

Restorative sleep

Enough sleep for age. The American Academy of Sleep Medicine recommends 8 to 10 hours a night for teenagers and 9 to 12 for children 6 to 12. Read more

Safe haven

The comforting role a caregiver plays when a child is frightened, hurt or upset. The partner idea to a secure base. Read more

Safe-ride pact

A promise that your teen can call for a ride from any unsafe situation, with no questions asked in the moment. Read more

Secure base

A trusted adult a child explores away from and returns to for comfort. The term comes from Mary Ainsworth and John Bowlby. Read more

Self-regulation

A child's growing ability to manage feelings, attention and behavior. It develops slowly and depends heavily on co-regulation first. Read more

Serve and return

Back-and-forth exchanges between a young child and an adult, like a game of tennis with sounds, looks and words, that build brain architecture. Read more

Sextortion

A crime in which someone threatens to share sexual images of a young person unless they send more images or money. Read more

Sibling rivalry

Competition and conflict between brothers and sisters, often driven by a wish for a parent's attention and fairness. Read more

Time-in

Staying with an upset child to help them calm down, instead of sending them away. Often used alongside or instead of a time-out. Read more

Time-out

A brief, calm break from attention after a behavior, used by many pediatric guidelines as an alternative to physical punishment. Read more

Validation

Acknowledging that a child's feeling makes sense, without necessarily agreeing with what they did. Read more