Kids and sports: keeping it fun, avoiding burnout, and being a good sideline parent

Most children play sports because it's fun, because their friends are there and because they like getting better at something. Keep those three things at the center and most other decisions get easier. Pediatricians recommend that most kids sample several sports rather than specializing in one before adolescence, take regular rest, and have parents who cheer more than they coach.

Should my child focus on one sport early?

For most sports, the American Academy of Pediatrics says probably not. Its 2016 report on sports specialization, led by Joel Brenner, notes that intense year-round training in a single sport before puberty is associated with higher risk of overuse injuries and burnout. The report suggests delaying specialization in most sports until after puberty, roughly age 15 or 16, with a few exceptions like gymnastics and figure skating where peak performance comes young.

Playing different sports builds a wider range of movement skills and spreads the physical stress around. It also gives kids more chances to find what they actually love, which may not be what they started with at age six.

How much rest do young athletes need?

AAP guidance on young athletes recommends one to two days off per week from organized sport, and two to three months a year away from any one sport. Kids can stay active during those breaks. They just shouldn't be doing the same motions over and over.

What does a good sports parent do?

Daniel Merkel's review of youth sport points to the mix of benefits sport can bring, like fitness, confidence and friendships, and the risks, like injury, burnout and the pressure that sometimes comes from adults. Parents shape a lot of that.

Cheer. Clap for the hustle and for good plays by either team. Let the coach coach; a kid getting one set of directions from the bench and another from the bleachers ends up following neither.

The car ride home is where a lot of this goes sideways. Many kids dread the replay. Try "I loved watching you play," then just drive, and let them bring up the game or not. Some want pointers. Most want to know what's for dinner.

Scholarships and pro careers? A tiny fraction of kids get there. And a child whose whole identity is one sport can get knocked flat by a cut, an injury, or one bad season.

How do I spot burnout?

Watch for a child who used to love the sport and now dreads practice, complains of aches and pains that don't fully heal, seems tired all the time, has slipping grades, or says they want to quit but feels they can't. Ask open questions: "What do you still like about it? What's not fun anymore?"

It's okay for kids to quit things. Usually it's best to finish the season they committed to, then decide. Sometimes a break brings the love back. Sometimes it doesn't, and that's fine too.

Frequently asked questions

Is it okay for my child to play the same sport on several teams at once?

That can quickly add up to overtraining. Count total weekly hours across teams, and be cautious about overlapping seasons.

My child is anxious before games. What helps?

Normalize the nerves, practice a simple pre-game routine together and keep your focus on effort and fun. If anxiety is severe or spreads to other areas, talk with your pediatrician.

What if my child wants to quit mid-season?

Find out why first. If it's bullying, a harmful coach or an injury, act on that. If it's a slump, encouraging them to finish what they started usually teaches commitment.